Full Custody

My ex filed for full custody of two of our three children last March. The two boys. He wanted to eliminate my parenting time with them while splitting my daughter’s parenting time equally between us.

He saw and still sees himself as “saving” them from me.

The papers were delivered to my house the day before I was supposed to leave for spring break with my children.

Of course, I was a wreck.

Court is traumatizing. Professionals openly make fun of you. They tell you that you can’t talk about abuse or anything that’s real. You have to sit still and be quiet. You have to show up as many times as your ex wants you to show up.

Our trial went on for six full days. That came after a hearing for temporary orders, a hearing for my ex’s appeal of the temporary orders, three and a half days of depositions, several days of meeting with his various forensic experts, and a pre-trial conference or two, plus two rounds of mediation and maybe there’s even more I’m not thinking of.

We owned one piece of property together. No commingled estates. Nothing.

We didn’t even have to negotiate custody during trial. I signed the parenting agreement (to my extreme disadvantage) far in advance, when the Guardian ad litem told me that he could tell the magistrate to give full custody to my ex, and that she’d do it. He said that if I didn’t sign the parenting plan, it was likely that I’d lose my parenting rights entirely.

So I signed.

And yet we were in court for six full days, anyway.

And I realized that the court is mean. It loves gossip. And most people lie. Especially my ex’s attorney. And when we caught him slanting paperwork and withholding evidence in the courtroom and pointed it out to the magistrate, she would simply ignore us.

I always thought attorneys would get in trouble for directly and intentionally lying in court.

Let alone their clients.

But nothing ever happened.

So when I received the court papers announcing that he’d filed for full custody last March, you can imagine how upset I was.

And it got even worse when my oldest announced that he wasn’t going with us. On spring break. That his dad said he shouldn’t have to, so he was just staying home with his dad.

That was last March.

And I’m still in court today. Almost one year later.

Trying and scratching to retain my rights to parent my children.

It scares me to death.

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6 thoughts on “Full Custody”

  1. My daughter’s GAL, Daryl Wayne Moon was interested in impressing someone, but not being truthful. I can’t believe he was not reprimanded by the bar for stunt he pulled: He told my attorney she needed to go stop me from yelling at my child. She came and saw me sitting away, alone & asked me what was going on. I said that I was waiting on her. She relayed what Moon said in front of the judge. I told her it wasn’t true & to ask him about it in front of me. She did. He changed his story. She said he was the worst GAL there could be, but we couldn’t change. The judge, Judge Jackson, doesn’t look at the evidence. Apparently, the truth is of no importance when determining a child’s welfare. My daughter has been in ER at least five times since she’s been in her dad’s “care.” Her appearance has changed to the extreme. She is beautiful to me, but she is obviously OBVIOUSLY crying out. And no one is listening — certainly not even her dad’s 5th wife. No one questions the holes & inconsistencies in their tales. No one seems to know what abuse looks like — the trauma bonding involved. Or they don’t care to help. Any help & protection I’ve tried to get for my daughter gets turned into me doing something against her. And I get judged by those who have no clue. It’s much easier to assume than to learn. But my story is just like many of the very sweet moms who encourage me — including my former mother-in-law. There will always be a dog & pony show in front of deciding “professionals.” This is why I work to bring awareness to youth & those in their community who are likely to influence them. People think kids just grow out of parental alienation & so they blow it off. Without education, indoctrination of the alienating parent will thrive. Thank you for sharing your story. This is the best way to educate & heal.

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